After reviewing my first draft i found a few problems with it that needed to be changed.
The first being that i used too much technical language for a script, so i needed to remove that, for example constant use 'diegetic' and 'non-diegetic' in my sound column needs to be removed.
The second being that i was trying to reveal too much to the audience oo quickly. This was shown in the video column due to the fact i have been using too many long takes and not enough short cuts between the different changes of shot.
The third being that i haven't included another seperate heading for all the production titles and credits that needs to be added and which also shows the use of music tracks which will help me with my previous comment on the constant description of sound.
Overall, this wasn't bad as a first draft but it had it's flaws that should hopefully be changed by the second draft.
1 comments:
After reviewing my first draft i found a few problems with it that needed to be changed.
The first being that i used too much technical language for a script, so i needed to remove that, for example constant use 'diegetic' and 'non-diegetic' in my sound column needs to be removed.
The second being that i was trying to reveal too much to the audience oo quickly. This was shown in the video column due to the fact i have been using too many long takes and not enough short cuts between the different changes of shot.
The third being that i haven't included another seperate heading for all the production titles and credits that needs to be added and which also shows the use of music tracks which will help me with my previous comment on the constant description of sound.
Overall, this wasn't bad as a first draft but it had it's flaws that should hopefully be changed by the second draft.
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