Starts within a graveyard. It is dark and cold. Cuts to behind the main protagonist, standing in front of a gravestone but the text is not visible. Switches to a front shot, from behind the gravestone slightly to the side, looking up at the character, his expression sombre, whilst carrying flowers, cradled in his arms.
Changes to a shot of a woman, looking out of her window, who then collapses, in to a heap on the sofa and cries uncontrollably. switches back to the sombre protagonist, his expression unchanging, then cuts back to the woman, still crying but begins to move away, out of the room and explores the rest of the rooms, showing the emptiness while before exiting each room cutting back to the protagonist, with his still unchanging expression. but when it reaches one room, shows the emptiness and cuts back to the main character, he collapses on to his knees, then shows the text on the gravestone and fades to black.
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Evaluative Notes
The base structure of the previous idea is present but it has changed drastically in the way it's shot and structured. But once again i am giving away too much too soon. I need to slow it down so that the audience can keep guessing a trait which i wanted to carry over from the previous idea.
Although the idea has become more solid , i will still need to add in obscure shots of him buying flowers, cycling to the graveyard and small things like the previously mentioned. Although one problem that came up was that i needed to keep the female actress's acting more basic, like she'll start off in a chair and then move towards the window, and other small shot changes to set the story more to show how much she is crippled by addiction such as making a cup of tea will tire her out.
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